Hey there,

I don’t buy into positivity culture. I don’t move through the world pretending negative emotions don’t exist because I’m scared they’ll cancel out the good stuff. As a true New Yorker (and honorary Parisian) I actually love to complain. You couldn’t pry this out of me if you tried.

But if all we do is complain, and complain, and complain some more, without making time to reconnect with what we love and what we value, burnout isn’t far behind. The human experience lives in balance: giving each feeling the space it needs to be understood, acknowledged, and eventually (though not always) laid to rest.

So yes, last month I got existential, but if you know me, you wouldn’t have been surprised by my frustration with capitalism and with the role marketing plays in it.

And yet, here I am. Still doing this thing.

Six years ago, I made the decision to cater my work towards LGBTQ+ businesses and professionals of color. It was my way of reconciling things in my own head. It helps me find some sense of empowerment in a system that constantly asks us to justify our worth just to access shelter, food, and the right to exist within borders.

I do this work for the material reality I just outlined, but also to connect with you, using the business and marketing skills I have. Those skills are just the medium. The message is the connection.

There are many reasons I’ve stuck with this business for this many years.

And today, I want to share three of them.

There are plenty of arguments about whether traditional jobs are more “stable” than working for yourself. I’ve seen both sides, and I don’t think one is inherently better than the other.

What I do know is that working for myself works for me.

When I worked a 9–5, things were still uncertain. My insomnia made consistent performance difficult. This usually isn’t optional in traditional workplaces, and understandably so.

I also spent an enormous amount of mental energy figuring out what was “appropriate” to say, how to behave, and how to follow unwritten social rules. Those rules exhausted me faster than the work itself.

When you spend that much time trying to exist “correctly” (in a way that won’t get you perceived as a nuisance), creativity takes a hit. Performance does too.

Working for myself means adhering to my own standards. I’m often stricter with myself than any manager ever was. But I know myself. And sure, even outside a 9–5, you can still encounter people who question whether you’re being “professional enough” (if you’re curious, my November newsletter covers that saga).

The difference? Nothing is permanent. When something stops working, I learn from it and move away from it, whether that’s a passion project or a client. That kind of autonomy simply isn’t as accessible in most traditional roles.

This one’s a love-hate relationship. Though today, I’m feeling a little gooey about it.

Marketing is predictable in some ways. Having gone to school for it and having a type A personality, the entire process is formulaic to me; easy to follow.

Even then, there are unpredictable variables: virality, current events, platforms changing their algorithms on a whim. The ground is always shifting.

The balance between using the marketing formula, letting it play out, and analyzing the results… frankly, it’s a process that asks for adaptability, curiosity, and humility. And oddly enough, that tension keeps me engaged.

Last year, I officially added web development to my professional portfolio. My foundation started with a random CSS/HTML course in college and recreationally coding my Tumblr blog for fun since high school. I didn’t know it at the time, but those early experiments quietly built a base I’d return to years later.

That’s the thing about this work. It keeps expanding.

What’s next? Brand design? Maybe. Offering email marketing? Hey, I’m doing that already (thanks for being here, by the way.)

Somehow, I’ve also become the de facto business manager for my best friend, one of the biggest fan editors in the Heated Rivalry fandom… yes, the editor behind the Big Ole Freak edit (careful now, that link is NSFW, but what can you expect from HR, really?). Now, I’m sketching out social media strategies for already-viral content and soft-pitching studios and music record labels… as if this was a natural progression from Tumblr HTML. Sure, why the hell not?

I’m curious: what do you love about what you do? Whether that’s therapy, event planning, or something entirely different. What keeps you coming back to it?

And if you’re in the mood to revisit one of my spicier takes on work norms, click below for a throwback from the archives.